counselling

Covid ready

Standard

Subconscious Healing is Covid ready for tomorrow. We are ready for our first face2face clients and supervisees in the Barn, it has hand gel, cleaning products, ventilation and seating at the required distance.
Subconscious Healing looks forward to returning to face2face to support children, young people and adults who are struggling.
You can find more details of our services on http://www.counselme.uk
Counselling Directory Psychology Today
Subconscious Healing will continue to work on zoom for clients and supervisees who wish to carry on.

Counselling and Psychotherapy in Leicestershire

Standard

Subconscious Healing will return to Face 2 Face sessions from Monday 12th April, in line with the current guidelines. I will continue with online and telephone sessions for clients and supervisees who prefer. Stay safe, regards Clare at Subconscious Healing.

Apologies, why?

Standard

How many times do you think you need that apology, you get it and yet the behaviour continues?
This is often a theme in a therapy sessions, where a client cannot get past the hurt they are feeling until they get that apology from their loved one, their friend or their colleagues. However, then the behaviour continues, maybe the same, maybe slightly different.
Where are you now? Where are they? After all they have apologised for what you asked for.
Sometimes the only way, is for you to change your behaviour and in that they can learn to change theirs.
We cannot expect others to change, to learn or to grow, only you can do that.
How much is that apology really worth?

January Blues

Standard

How many of us have sprung into January on a high but then begin to start that feeling of dread? That tired feeling, sadness, loss of energy and just feeling blue and down in the dumps.

So why is this? Why are you feeling low in January? Is it the realisation that the Christmas over spending bill’s will start to come in? Is the damp cold weather or are the dark mornings and nights dragging on? Or do you have that post Christmas, back to work feeling.

So if this sounds like you, what can you do?

Look at lifting the blues, get some natural day light by going for a walk.

Rather than burying your head, take a look at your finances, did you over spend last year? How did you pay that off?

Think about meeting friends, inviting them around for drinks, rather than going out and overspending.

Do you have that gym membership waiting to be used?Either use it or cancel it, make the choice.

Are thinking of increasing your fitness this year? Stop thinking go for it? A boost in your natural endorphins will help rid the doom and gloom and make you feel happy.

Why not write a list of what you would like to do through this year, for instance a holiday, a weekend break, read some new books, go on a new course or start a new path?

Remember to take control of January and don’t let the blues take control of you.

Have a good January, it is the start of your new chapter.

How can one small canine change somebodies life!

Standard
Permission given by the writer to share, Thank you.
Wow, 9 weeks ago my life was turned upside down! The waiting was over and this bundle of fur had landed in my life. I was warned of the sleepless nights, the joys of toilet training and needing to puppy proof my house. Within hours this little man had made himself at home in both my house and my heart.
I struggled big time with the concept of me being his ‘mummy’, how could I be a mum to a dog when I had no children of my own? Surely you have to earn the right to be a mum? Yet I have become his mummy, he looks to me for food, for comfort, for reassurance, for guidance, to be told no and for unconditional love.
He has tested me, but also understands my limitations and needs. I need my sleep so he lies in at weekends and I’m often awake before him. My pain levels may be high some days and on those days he doesn’t jump as much or pull on the lead. Heknows sometimes just curling up on the sofa under a blanket is enough.
My boy is not perfect, he nips, he doesn’t listen, he chews,eats everything in sight, refuses to put his lead on a for a walk yet it’s always me he returns to for love and guidance.
They say dogs can be therapy and in 9 weeks I’ve learnt so much about myself. I’ve had to challenge myself to do things out of my comfort zone (puppy classes are suffered), meeting new people, not being number one, pushing my physical boundaries and accepting that my evenings are often not found. But I’ve also learnt to love walking again, to enjoy the world around me, the colours of autumn, the sun sets (we don’t see sun rises, he is too lazy to be up), the joy of watching a pup play. Having a reason to stop work everyday and take lunch breaks has been refreshing.
Some days I may shout, I may cry, I may wonder what I was thinking taking him on but each and every day he makes me smile, he makes me laugh and he gives the best cuddles and lots of love. So even when things are going wrong or I’ve had a bad day I can finish work and my boy is pleased to see me and wants to spend time with me.
I will end where I started, this pup has made his home in my house and my heart and I wouldn’t be without him and the love he has brought into my life.

Mental health in schools.

Standard

Maybe this needs to be done from an earlier age.

Teachers you should not be afraid to talk about issues such as suicide, sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. If you are then why?

So how to help the children? How can you support them?

Why not try to bring a counsellor into the classroom to give a talk. See if you are able to run small groups for your vulnerable children or a drop in session.

Remember this is not just high schools and sixth form students who need to access support or know and understand mental health. It has been reported recently in the news that some children as young as 3-4 yr olds are struggling with issues of self harm, when this starts from an early age it may escalate if help is not given.

Our primary school children need support from professionals as well as sixth form. If we can help a child who is going through issues at 8yrs old, they may cope better by 16, if they are left they may have learnt unhelpful distructive coping mechanisms which are harder to break.

Teachers, teaching assistants, head of years and head of schools need to be making some allowances for children’s mental health. Teaching them these important lessons as you may be the person this child may turn to in their hour of need.

Click here for more information about Counsel me

Traditions

Standard

So if you have read any of my recent blog posts you will most likely remember my spring cleaning blog from a couple of weeks ago.

Well here we are going from the miserable and lost spring and jumping straight head first into summer, and hasn’t it arrived quick.

I don’t know about you all but I started off my week in Leicestershire wearing a woolie jumper to work then yesterday found myself in a mini heatwave totally unprepared!

Yes I know it was all over the news!! But come on how many times has it been wrong? So I was caught out.

I follow a family tradition, don’t ask me why, but I do, every year in the spring I pack my winter clothes away into storage and out comes my summer stuff and vise versa.

For me I find it kind of cathartic, washing away the last season and getting ready for the next block. Ie warm vs chilly. Christmas season vs summer holidays.

My mum used to put her clothes away as did her mum and now do I. A family tradition that has passed down to me.

So yesterday I decided to have a therapeutic cleanse of my wardrobe, deciding what really does and doesn’t fit? What I actually do and do not wear, and what I will wear this year.

For me this was like washing away the emotions of the previous year, putting the emotions away with last seasons clothes. Challenging myself as I reflect over the positives and negatives of the previous months.

It was my time to take a little bit of positive control to make some choices for the future about me.

This gave me the chance to think about me as a person, about family traditions and how behaviours are inherited, whether healthy or unhealthy. Often this is without our knowledge.

Learned behaviours can cause us to stay in certain thinking patterns through life.

There is thought that we learn from parent’s, grandparents, teachers, friends, siblings, TV and nowadays the internet.

All of these modes of learning show the child examples of behaviour to observe and imitate for instance masculine and feminine, good and bad, angry and sad, positive and negative and so on.

Talking therapy can help to work through these emotional issues. You may be dealing with learned behaviour throughout your life, not realising that they are infact somebody else’s issues and not actually yours. You don’t have to carry them around any more.

click here to learn more about how counselling can help you.

Top trump problems vs unconditional listening.

Standard

Who feels like they are wanting to talk about their problems yet find they are always being top trumped by somebody?

Why does this happen, when all you needed was somebody to really listen. So where do you find the right person?

Maybe this has been going through your thoughts?

Have you been considering going to your GP to ask for some help?

Are you feeling out of sorts and just don’t know why? Or maybe you do know why!

First of all do you have that somebody to talk to? When I say talk to, I mean somebody who you can really talk openly to, who will listen to you, without interruption, nonjudgemental and not go on about their issues.

Sometimes our friends and family without even knowing can give you their problem just when you don’t need it. When you need empathy, to be held in strength, whilst you talk openly to explore your emotions and feel your pain. Whilst a friend may offer you sympathy, this may be OK until your friend feels sorry for you. After all how can they feel your pain? For some individuals they may like this however it is non productive.

Remember this is not a game of top trumps. These are your emotions and you are allowed to talk about them.

You don’t have to compete to find our who has the worst problem.

Does it feel that way sometimes?

Is it time to consider counselling? When you enter your counselling initial session you will notice the counselling relationship, you may notice the difference. The counsellor is there for you. This is your time, a time and space for you to be open, to talk about you unconditionally in a confidential setting.

It may be the right time for you to be listened to.

Click here to find out more.

Going live

Standard

So today I will be going on air!!!

No not flying through the sky, I will be speaking on the radio (or trying to).

Last week I was contacted out of the blue by Radio Leicester, I was asked if I would like to have a chat about a blog post I had previously written on my webpage.

Yes me, Subconscious Healing.

So today at around 9am I will be on Radio Leicester.

I will be talking about my post, Spring cleaning.

My visit to meet Simon and Gloria at Claridges. Afternoon tea anyone?

Standard

Wow, has it really been 5 years since that amazing day? The best tea party I could ever imagine being invited to (well apart from a ‘Mad Hatter’s’), I was sat eating cake and drinking tea with Brendan Cole at Claridges, just Wow. How surreal! I kept waiting for Alice to jump out of a hole! What an awesome feeling to be invited to meet Simon Cowell and Gloria Hunniford and their guests.

But I am forgetting the most important part, why I am there?

Let’s rewind a few months.

If you have read any of my other blogs you will know son no. 3 has a diagnosis of Autism, he was diagnosed at 6 yrs of age. Although we have always known from a very young age that something was just not quite right, this diagnosis still came as such a huge shock to us. I am sure many parents will probably agree.

Our path to diagnosis was rocky and took many years of battles, as people who are going through it will empathise, but throughout some if this we had some amazing support from an amazing charity called face2face. This charity was ran by scope. I had an amazing befriender who was a huge support, she was a listener, a friend, an ear and was there when nobody else was. Now I am not saying that nobody else was there, but at that time it felt like I was supermum and carried everyone, I had to because if I didn’t then everyone around me would collapse. William was born as a BBA, a bit of a traumatic experience which then led me onto PND which I coped with but didn’t really deal with when you have a child who never sleeps. She taught me that I could put my backpack down and learn to look after me. She was an amazing befriender.

Being a mum of a child living with a disability is hard work, nobody wanted to help, to listen, to be there when he screamed, punched, kicked or had a meltdown. Why would they I wouldn’t or would I.

So as the weeks went on and life got easier, I realised friendships were there as I released the grip on the backpack.

Then I was asked to make a film clip for the health lottery. Me? Talk about being a mum with a child living with Autism? Really? Wow.

So we did!

Me and my befriender talked about how she had helped me and I talked about living with son no.3.

What it’s like sleepless nights, a friendless boy, the struggles, the lack of invites to parties, the struggles of mainstream school, living with family who just don’t understand the issues of an invisible disability.

A child who doesn’t eat, doesn’t wear certain clothes, like loud noises, but loves the firmness of hugs and cuddles.

I remember reading a poem about going on a trip to Holland but thinking your going to Spain with your friends. You get off the plane and realise it’s not what you expect, it’s ok, its sunny, there are nice people, and you get on.

That is what Face2Face has taught me. I have met some wonderful people over the years. I am not where I started when he was born. That doesn’t matter life moves on. People can’t all be expected to cope with ‘my’ stuff.

He is an amazing boy making friends and going to parties. Life moves on and changes. Holland is good.

So now lets fast forward to the invite, we are both sat in a tea party at Claridges, there are television screens all around us. Dotted around are celebrities, I remember it just felt crazy. Then the film played. Finally we are asked to go on stage to a standing applause. Wow! hugs tears and emotions. Autism is noticed, Disability is noticed! My son has helped to make Autism heard.