relax

Top trump problems vs unconditional listening.

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Who feels like they are wanting to talk about their problems yet find they are always being top trumped by somebody?

Why does this happen, when all you needed was somebody to really listen. So where do you find the right person?

Maybe this has been going through your thoughts?

Have you been considering going to your GP to ask for some help?

Are you feeling out of sorts and just don’t know why? Or maybe you do know why!

First of all do you have that somebody to talk to? When I say talk to, I mean somebody who you can really talk openly to, who will listen to you, without interruption, nonjudgemental and not go on about their issues.

Sometimes our friends and family without even knowing can give you their problem just when you don’t need it. When you need empathy, to be held in strength, whilst you talk openly to explore your emotions and feel your pain. Whilst a friend may offer you sympathy, this may be OK until your friend feels sorry for you. After all how can they feel your pain? For some individuals they may like this however it is non productive.

Remember this is not a game of top trumps. These are your emotions and you are allowed to talk about them.

You don’t have to compete to find our who has the worst problem.

Does it feel that way sometimes?

Is it time to consider counselling? When you enter your counselling initial session you will notice the counselling relationship, you may notice the difference. The counsellor is there for you. This is your time, a time and space for you to be open, to talk about you unconditionally in a confidential setting.

It may be the right time for you to be listened to.

Click here to find out more.

Going live

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So today I will be going on air!!!

No not flying through the sky, I will be speaking on the radio (or trying to).

Last week I was contacted out of the blue by Radio Leicester, I was asked if I would like to have a chat about a blog post I had previously written on my webpage.

Yes me, Subconscious Healing.

So today at around 9am I will be on Radio Leicester.

I will be talking about my post, Spring cleaning.

One of those days

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Picture this, I am walking down the stairs, no slippers on, rushing for work as usual last minute.com, with my arms full of dirty laundry, and as per something falls out on to the stairs. So it could have been a sock, a PJ top but no it was a soggy wet flannel! NICE!!! Yes you have guessed I stood on it with my nice stocking foot ‘squelch’. Hmm is this the start of my day or just one of those things you could be thinking. Well it depends how you look at life.
For me luckily I picked it up, realised I hadn’t fallen down the stairs, So it could have been worse. Things can be sorted if we decide to choose to take control. It was my choice to either scream and shout or laugh about it and I felt like doing both. However which takes more energy and which has the better outcome?
There are times I still do scream I won’t lie I am not a saintly counsellor.

I am real, I have feelings, emotions and I cry so how do I handle it? Because I am not a super hero, I don’t wear a cape and I don’t have a magic powers.

I think I can honestly say I handle it by talking! Since beginning my journey to becoming a counsellor I have had to learn to really talk and listen, not just a little chit chat with friends but be open. I have supervision and in that I am listened to and I can be me. I have realised that if I need somebody to talk to about my emotions I am happy pay a counsellor, but I have also learnt the value of talking openly to my family and friends!

Counselling has taught me so much about me. If you are struggling and need support don’t sit in silence thinking there is nobody to listen to you.

Don’t sit thinking nobody understands you, there is always somebody willing to listen, willing to help you. Sometimes you are stuck in a place and you just need a helping hand to get you up.

Why have therapy?

December

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This time of year means different things for each and everyone. For some it means excitement, happiness, fun and celebrations. Whilst for others it means tiredness, loneliness, sadness and highlighting how they have felt over the last 12 months.

It may bring unexpected emotions, the Christmas blues, with feelings of stress and anxiety and unexpected highs or lows. Take a look around at your christmas party, at your neighbours and at your friends. Is there somebody who looks like they are struggling, somebody who may need a little support? Can you give them a little bit of your time, can you listen to them? Not many years ago we would have done this. We would have taken the time to enquire about a neighbour and a friend in need, or the elderly lady living down the road. We used to pick up the phone to check on our relatives and friends, checking on somebody who was struggling, or just sending a christmas wish to say that we cared.

When you are on your own at this time of the year is it because you choose to be, or is it because you have nowhere else to go? Sometimes there is a place to go but it is about accessing that help, supporting yourself and finding it. Once upon a time there was no room at the Inn, Joseph searched and searched and found a room for Mary in a stable, it wasn’t the best but they made do and they made the best out of what they had. Joseph wasn’t looking for a 5* hotel with a spa and jacuzzi, he was looking for somewhere to support Mary. Sometimes you need to take control to help yourself, you often have a choice.

Today, living in this throw away society, we always want the best and miss the importance of what is going on around us. But is the best needed?

Are you spending out of your budget trying to buy the top gift, trying to get the no.1 toy of the year? How many are spending on the ‘never never’ and then worrying when this will always catch up with you in your January pay packet. Who is this going to make happy?

I remember as a child we only had 3 channels on the television and longed for a remote control on a wire on a video player (which we never got), I had an apple and an orange in my stocking and one gift from Santa. We played board games on Christmas day and we all talked. It was amazing! We had toys and games, we didn’t have computer games to pull us away from the importance of family time! But we did talk to each other and we spent time with each other. What would it be like to spend an hour with each other playing a board game at Christmas. Learn something new about each other. I wonder if that lonely neighbour would enjoy being with you all, at your table enjoying too much noise and hustle and bustle, enjoying time on the sofa whilst you all have your heads in your gadgets. How will you get through December?

Work Rest and Play

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How do you keep a healthy balanced schedule? I for one find this difficult to balance sometimes, juggling the work/family life balancing act, especially when things jump out of nowhere. Take this week for instance, I had planned my week with ample balance for work and for me time. Then out of nowhere I am asked to bake a cake for the Macmillan’s cake day for my sons school. Well that just knocked my schedule for six but I knew I would be doing this. Of course I would be doing this. So my only relax day has gone and here I am shopping, baking and decorating.

Do I mind losing my rest day to bake a cake for my sons school? Well less than 24 hours later my son comes home from school beaming from ear to ear and shouting ‘Mum we got second place in the bake off.’ So no I didn’t mind doing that at all.

We all need a work / life balance. Life is too short and we can all miss what is important in life. We can all look back and think I should have taken that path, visited them, made more time or just had more balance.

Enjoy the here and now.