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Covid ready

Subconscious Healing is Covid ready for tomorrow. We are ready for our first face2face clients and supervisees in the Barn, it has hand gel, cleaning products, ventilation and seating at the required distance.
Subconscious Healing looks forward to returning to face2face to support children, young people and adults who are struggling.
You can find more details of our services on http://www.counselme.uk
Counselling Directory Psychology Today
Subconscious Healing will continue to work on zoom for clients and supervisees who wish to carry on.

Counselling and Psychotherapy in Leicestershire

Subconscious Healing will return to Face 2 Face sessions from Monday 12th April, in line with the current guidelines. I will continue with online and telephone sessions for clients and supervisees who prefer. Stay safe, regards Clare at Subconscious Healing.

Apologies, why?

How many times do you think you need that apology, you get it and yet the behaviour continues?
This is often a theme in a therapy sessions, where a client cannot get past the hurt they are feeling until they get that apology from their loved one, their friend or their colleagues. However, then the behaviour continues, maybe the same, maybe slightly different.
Where are you now? Where are they? After all they have apologised for what you asked for.
Sometimes the only way, is for you to change your behaviour and in that they can learn to change theirs.
We cannot expect others to change, to learn or to grow, only you can do that.
How much is that apology really worth?

Positives on a rainy day.

I am lying here listening to the rain outside, knowing it is going to be another wet, dull and cold day of juggling and spinning plates. I should get up because it is near on 7am. It is getting closer to school time.

But I don’t have to, I cannot be bothered and to be fair, why. What is the point.

The point for me is simple – I have a new day, a fresh start to life. And something new will happen. The rain outside is fresh and is washing away, clearing and cleansing. It is supporting life, helping our bulbs grow ready for my most favourite time of the year ‘Spring’.

So as I am about to spring out of bed, get a thought of exercise and a plan of action for today. What one plan can you achieve today?

Yesterday I wrote a list for January. A list of to do’s, what I would like to achieve before the end of Jauary.

They are all manageable things on the list, I started with easier things at the start and progressed to the harder ones by the end of the list.

The list is not long, they are in blocks of 2 or 3. This allows me to see my list shorter and more manageable.

What would you add to your list? Why not start today. Get motivated for spring.

Have a good day.

Counselling for couples and families.

Couples and Family therapy.

5 reasons why therapy is a good idea:-

1, The decision is based upon wanting to talk openly and stay together.

2,There is an acknowledgement that help is available and that they would like to take up the offer in a confidential setting.

3. You have agreed to ask for help from someone who has studied in an area of expertise that they need to work through.

4. The opportunity to work through this openly and experience healing and positive change is being embraced.

5. Soon the couple / family will start to peel away the layers of their life together and find that love is underneath.

If you are struggling take a look on counselling directory or psychology today for a counsellor within your area who can help and support your emotional issues.

January Blues

How many of us have sprung into January on a high but then begin to start that feeling of dread? That tired feeling, sadness, loss of energy and just feeling blue and down in the dumps.

So why is this? Why are you feeling low in January? Is it the realisation that the Christmas over spending bill’s will start to come in? Is the damp cold weather or are the dark mornings and nights dragging on? Or do you have that post Christmas, back to work feeling.

So if this sounds like you, what can you do?

Look at lifting the blues, get some natural day light by going for a walk.

Rather than burying your head, take a look at your finances, did you over spend last year? How did you pay that off?

Think about meeting friends, inviting them around for drinks, rather than going out and overspending.

Do you have that gym membership waiting to be used?Either use it or cancel it, make the choice.

Are thinking of increasing your fitness this year? Stop thinking go for it? A boost in your natural endorphins will help rid the doom and gloom and make you feel happy.

Why not write a list of what you would like to do through this year, for instance a holiday, a weekend break, read some new books, go on a new course or start a new path?

Remember to take control of January and don’t let the blues take control of you.

Have a good January, it is the start of your new chapter.

How can one small canine change somebodies life!

Permission given by the writer to share, Thank you.

Wow, 9 weeks ago my life was turned upside down! The waiting was over and this bundle of fur had landed in my life. I was warned of the sleepless nights, the joys of toilet training and needing to puppy proof my house. Within hours this little man had made himself at home in both my house and my heart.

I struggled big time with the concept of me being his ‘mummy’, how could I be a mum to a dog when I had no children of my own? Surely you have to earn the right to be a mum? Yet I have become his mummy, he looks to me for food, for comfort, for reassurance, for guidance, to be told no and for unconditional love.

He has tested me, but also understands my limitations and needs. I need my sleep so he lies in at weekends and I’m often awake before him. My pain levels may be high some days and on those days he doesn’t jump as much or pull on the lead. Heknows sometimes just curling up on the sofa under a blanket is enough.

My boy is not perfect, he nips, he doesn’t listen, he chews,eats everything in sight, refuses to put his lead on a for a walk yet it’s always me he returns to for love and guidance.

They say dogs can be therapy and in 9 weeks I’ve learnt so much about myself. I’ve had to challenge myself to do things out of my comfort zone (puppy classes are suffered), meeting new people, not being number one, pushing my physical boundaries and accepting that my evenings are often not found. But I’ve also learnt to love walking again, to enjoy the world around me, the colours of autumn, the sun sets (we don’t see sun rises, he is too lazy to be up), the joy of watching a pup play. Having a reason to stop work everyday and take lunch breaks has been refreshing.

Some days I may shout, I may cry, I may wonder what I was thinking taking him on but each and every day he makes me smile, he makes me laugh and he gives the best cuddles and lots of love. So even when things are going wrong or I’ve had a bad day I can finish work and my boy is pleased to see me and wants to spend time with me.

I will end where I started, this pup has made his home in my house and my heart and I wouldn’t be without him and the love he has brought into my life.

A house full of testosterone!

What is it like to be the only female in the house full of boys?

I have been asked before how do you cope with all those boys?

Don’t you feel left out? Football crazy, boys toys crazy?

Doesn’t the toilet seat get on your nerves or their smelly bedrooms drive you mad?

Don’t you miss out on pamper days with daughters or shopping trips to town?

And my answer is always No to all of the above!

Yes I am definately ‘out numbered’ in our house, but that’s ok because this house that we live in is our family home.

We may battle for the bathroom, live with War Hammer models all over the dining table whilst we eat our dinner on our laps, the table that once was pine and now resembles a children’s paint station.

I am amazed of my skills that I have learnt including half asleep walking through a lego minefield, bare footed at 3am, sorting 3 different pairs of socks that belong to different boys with similar sized feet. Learning skills like stick man wars, skate boarding, nerf gun wars, trampoline football and so much more.

Now I know that the bath will always be covered in god knows what unless I clean it, and when men stand up to use the toilet half asleep, well let’s just leave it to your imagination.

But I know this is all OK because one day the house that is full of noise, hustle and bustle, X box and music will be just me and my husband.

My boys will return to tell me their stories but they will never leave lego on the floor or paint on the table. This time is short, precious and I can always buy another table but I can never buy these years.

Mental health in schools.

Maybe this needs to be done from an earlier age.

Teachers you should not be afraid to talk about issues such as suicide, sexual assault, domestic violence and child abuse. If you are then why?

So how to help the children? How can you support them?

Why not try to bring a counsellor into the classroom to give a talk. See if you are able to run small groups for your vulnerable children or a drop in session.

Remember this is not just high schools and sixth form students who need to access support or know and understand mental health. It has been reported recently in the news that some children as young as 3-4 yr olds are struggling with issues of self harm, when this starts from an early age it may escalate if help is not given.

Our primary school children need support from professionals as well as sixth form. If we can help a child who is going through issues at 8yrs old, they may cope better by 16, if they are left they may have learnt unhelpful distructive coping mechanisms which are harder to break.

Teachers, teaching assistants, head of years and head of schools need to be making some allowances for children’s mental health. Teaching them these important lessons as you may be the person this child may turn to in their hour of need.

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Exams

So as we enter the exam period whether this is SATs, GCSEs, retakes or getting ready for A levels.

Whichever the exam that you are taking, for some they can bring on stress, anxiety and worry.

Some people just happily sail through their tests and exams without a care or worry and that is amazing. However for others they really do struggle with their exams.

In our house this week we have the SATs tests for our youngest son. I think we have prepared well, the school have prepared him well and he has prepared well. He seems happy and eager to do them, to get them out of the way. But for him, the main thing is that he is not feeling the pressure, he can only do his best.

So day one is done, the monotony has not hit yet and he isn’t fed up or worried yet.

Why do we worry so much about these exams which we have studied for? Is it the added pressure that students put upon themselves or that they are put under by teachers and parents?

I remember as a student the panic and the worry. Have I revised enough? Will I make my parents proud? Will I achieve as well as my brother? Will I get to where I want to be?

And then with all that anxiety came fear.

Why? Why do we do this to ourselves?

Nobody picked up on this anxiety that I was going through. Nobody noticed that I was not studying properly, couldn’t cope and well just felt like I was sinking.

Was it because it was ‘back then’ because my parents didn’t really do exams or just because I went unnoticed? Did I hide it well?

Today, in the college that I work in, this time of year in the counselling room is about emotional support, reducing anxiety and listening. Offering strategies and working with the students to reduce their worries.

Students are under pressure everywhere, at home, with their peers, in the schooling environment and on social media. They have little escape so it’s teaching them where to escape, how to escape and it is ok to have time to breath.

Stop, take a breath, observe, pause and process.

We all need to breath and relax even when we are cramming in the study. Our brains can and will only take so much.

Go outside and get some fresh air, lie down and watch the clouds, relax to some calming music. Take the pressure off and just calm. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

As parents we need to support our children through this time, yes results are important for them but their mental health is so much more important.

Observe the changes. Check in with them. I’m OK may not actually mean OK.

Good luck to everyone, stay healthy!

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